A Generous Spirit Transforms Mental Health, Relationships & Work-Life Balance
What is a generous spirit and why do we need it so much?
More than optimism — generosity of spirit is an honest, grateful approach to life — a recognition that things could be much worse but aren’t, paired with a dogged determination to be part of the good.
We can tell immediately if someone doesn’t have it. There’s no way to free it up for them. A generosity of spirit comes from recognizing all the pleasures that have come to us without merit.
I learned about it over time. In my most miserable seasons, generosity was my missing peace. In my happiest, a generosity of spirit keeps me grounded. I watched a friend grieve the loss of a man she loved, yet in every story she told, he sounded stingy, selfish, and careless of others. His scarcity, more than the heartbreak itself, had brought her down.
Generosity is an open hand, inviting us to step into our biggest, most plentiful selves.
A stranger turned to me waiting at an airport Starbucks to say, “I’ve never had to wait for a drip coffee before,” shaking his head perhaps because I have one of those hospitable faces that welcomes such remarks. I didn’t have anything to say in return, but I offered a share of myself in a smile.
Generosity is more than smiling, something other than money or even friendship. It is a posture that starts in our depths. Like most good recipes, its roux steeps in gratitude, hope, compassion. But generosity possesses an energy of its own that tugs us from apathy and listlessness’s muck and mire.
The landscape of self-improvement is littered with tips about waking up early, what running does for our brains, morning pages, and more.
But if you lose yourself, your access to joy, your connection to goodness in the process, what will all the ice baths in the world have been for?
Why it matters:
Regardless of circumstance, cultivating a generous spirit propels us to face our joys and our suffering with equal measures of tenacity, joy, and an abiding sense of hope. Generosity of spirit buoys us through life’s unavoidable ups and downs.
“Are you envious because I am generous?” The wealthy landowner asks in a parable from the New Testament. We can ask of ourselves the same pointed reflection when it seems all is lost, stressful, and way too much. Also, eating a snack and taking a nap are never bad solutions either.
A generous spirit recognizes there are always more hours in the day and more resources at our disposal than the myth of scarcity would have us believe.
Go Deeper
So you look in the mirror and find you resemble Ebenezer Scrooge more than you’d like this year. As the days turn darker, your fear of losing daylight mustn’t overtake you.
Some practical tips for cultivating a spirit of generosity:
- Take stock of what you have going for you. Don’t avoid the negatives, but emphasize the positive. Did you make it safely from home to work today? Are you healthy? Are there people in your life who love you?
- Put your problems in perspective. Name what’s creating stress in your life and ask yourself, “Will this make a difference in a year? In a month? In a week?” Most challenges have an expiration date.
- Make a move towards the good. What’s the most urgently good thing your neighbor could benefit from? I ask myself this when I sit down to write: “What does the world need?” Often it isn’t nearly as lofty or complex an idea as I might imagine. At a busy airport, a passing smile, or a patient gesture goes a long way. In this landscape of lonely people consumed our digital lives, eye contact and vulnerability are soothing balms.
Good begets more good, and generosity snowballs. What may seem big and untenable today for a spirit sunk down by hopelessness and hard times becomes possible, plausible, and achievable as our spirits grow towards generosity.
I’d love to hear from you about change management, caring for people, and working together towards better lives through healthy communication.
