Grief Is Like Breathing

I sat in a pew today in another church and worshipped.

I know my lines, I know when to sit and stand, when to gesture to my children that it’s time to go up for the children’s sermon, how to look up the hymns, and bow my head to pray.

It’s been three years since I last preached a sermon.

I sometimes wonder if the seven years I spent leading churches were part of a long, strange dream. Since leaving, I’ve witnessed a lot of life; gratefully alive, present, and awake for moments in my children’s lives that professional church work kept me…