Owning Your Story Is the Grit You Need to Move On

Healing from hard things is no joke. Be kind.

I recently went through a trauma.

My husband and I were supposed to have lunch at home, right after a haircut.

In a matter of minutes after walking through the door, our life as I knew it was over — I was surprise ambushed with the sentence: “we’re getting a divorce.”

What followed was six months (so far) of coming to terms with our family’s new, unplanned reality, resigning from my job, moving in with my parents, beginning a radical journey of self-discovery, truth-telling, vocational exploration, redefining myself as a mother, divorcee, former pastor, child of God.

I won’t lead you through the gory details, but I will share what is common wisdom in the family law world: Mother Theresa and Attila the Hun never would be a good couple, so no matter your divorce, neither is as good as they believe, nor the other as evil.

Today I returned to the hair salon where I had gotten a cut and color the morning it all fell apart. I sat in the chair like a zombie and let her shampoo me, start cutting, and the tears started to stream down my face.

“Oh honey. I’m sorry” she said so many times — this other fierce working mother who listened to my truth, who saw me in my sad, who…